Day 15

To meng:

http://behance.vo.llnwd.net/profiles16/724378/projects/2414352/90529bc94c97de6ba91ad5aeebaddc1d.jpg

honestly meng, why do you care

ahhh... fuck it all

change of plans? i dont know

Day 14

people always use many words to say a simple thing

i hope so. i want to make her happy.

to be a friend.

forgive forgive

buy a home together, take you around the world. get engaged, married, have children that is loved by our families. what is wrong with this plan?

build you a cave, with battlestation. rub your belly and scratch your back. take you out for walks and food, care for you love you and support you. leave some beard and mustache...? its what you want isnt it. tell me.

Day 13

i swear i will treasure it. really i will. please let her believe me. im such a mess, i want to figure this out. i feel like i owe her so much, just let me make up for it. im exhausted, but i cant stop thinking about her.

Day 12

just one more try.

forget-me-not? pfft...

has no feelings for me anymore huh, that was ... sad.

lol, over affectionated... please dont just ignore me

dont waste time meng.

dude, i have no idea what you're doing. you're just talking crap

amazing how much affect it has. pathetic as it seem, i dont resent my emotions. after all its what makes me human. unfortunately that would most likely change over time, i would get insensitive, indifferent and possibly cold.

never mourn.

Day 11

Wishing she would see that i only wanted to make her and us happy, wishing she would understand, wishing all my loved ones a bright future in 2012.

if only

it will be a new year soon. a new page in life and i welcome it. may i become the man i want and my loved one find happiness, with or without me in their lives.

Day 10

did i do the right thing?

we were born alone, we live alone and we die alone.

only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion that we are not.

to be sure that you know what im saying, i'll translate as i go along.

blah blah blah...

its rather cold.

Day 9

i wonder if she understands why i did the things i did.

even the occupation i took thinking she would be with me.

i never wanted to travel the world alone.

i believed we would be together supporting each other and in a few years, start a family.

lives and dreams sure are fickle.

i wonder if she has changed so much, or just forgotten what she really wanted. or perhaps i never knew what that was in the first place.

no matter how much money you got, no matter how many friends you got.

gave everything.i just want...

meditate

how very pathetic.

why why why why why why why

just a lost little boy crying because he dropped his icecream. forever.

sing a happy song, sing a sad song. seal a part of my soul in a box and put it away. i made mistakes and i made the effort, i fought for naught if it ain't meant to be.

Day 7

words fail me. the pain the sorrow the disappointment. shattered dreams and forgotten promises. i wonder why i miss it so, i wonder why it means so much to me. as its obvious it didnt matter to her.

live and learn, growing up is rather painful.

/slap self

stop moping you coward

it drives me crazy.

blah blah blah more moaning and crying and sob stories... meng stfu.