Blue Scribble

2012-02-01T21:33:00.000+04:00

im scared. im alone. but i will persist

2012-01-31T14:19:00.001+04:00

been a long road to follow
been there and gone tomorrow
without saying goodbye to yesterday
are the memories I hold still valid?
or have the tears deluded them?
maybe this time tomorrow
the rain will cease to follow
and the mist will fade into one more today
something somewhere out there keeps calling
am I going home?
will I hear someone singing solace to the silent moon?
zero gravity what's it like?
am I alone?
is somebody there beyond these heavy aching feet
still the road keeps on telling me to go on
something is pulling me
I feel the gravity of it all

Day 23

2012-01-30T18:41:00.000+04:00

saa.... what to do

2012-01-28T18:03:00.000+04:00

so close, yet so far

Day 22

2012-01-28T08:21:00.001+04:00

ahahahaha... you fool

Day 21

2012-01-26T14:10:00.000+04:00

please make it stop

Day 20

2012-01-20T20:09:00.001+04:00

la da di da da

2012-01-19T12:42:00.001+04:00

Ever try?
Ever fail?
Try again.
Fail again.
Fail better.

Day 19

2012-01-19T10:11:00.001+04:00

surrender.

2012-01-16T15:52:00.000+04:00

plan, proceed, endure, persevere, triumphant?

Day 18

2012-01-16T08:54:00.000+04:00

nothing is impossible?

2012-01-14T16:46:00.001+04:00

i come. i see. i conquer!

Day 17

2012-01-14T07:30:00.001+04:00

worthy?

Day 16

2012-01-13T12:32:00.001+04:00

Urah. feel the pain!

2012-01-12T16:51:00.000+04:00

so fkn confused. so fkn tired. so fkn disappointed.

Day 15

2012-01-12T08:42:00.001+04:00

To meng:

http://behance.vo.llnwd.net/profiles16/724378/projects/2414352/90529bc94c97de6ba91ad5aeebaddc1d.jpg

2012-01-09T18:45:00.001+04:00

honestly meng, why do you care

2012-01-08T08:49:00.001+04:00

ahhh... fuck it all

2012-01-07T18:25:00.001+04:00

change of plans? i dont know

Day 14

2012-01-07T05:47:00.001+04:00

people always use many words to say a simple thing

2012-01-06T04:04:00.001+04:00

i hope so. i want to make her happy.

2012-01-04T17:46:00.001+04:00

to be a friend.

2012-01-04T17:12:00.001+04:00

forgive forgive

2012-01-04T06:41:00.001+04:00

buy a home together, take you around the world. get engaged, married, have children that is loved by our families. what is wrong with this plan?

2012-01-04T06:37:00.001+04:00

build you a cave, with battlestation. rub your belly and scratch your back. take you out for walks and food, care for you love you and support you. leave some beard and mustache...? its what you want isnt it. tell me.

Day 13

2012-01-04T06:04:00.002+04:00

i swear i will treasure it. really i will. please let her believe me. im such a mess, i want to figure this out. i feel like i owe her so much, just let me make up for it. im exhausted, but i cant stop thinking about her.

Day 12

2012-01-03T19:29:00.002+04:00

just one more try.

2012-01-03T11:31:00.001+04:00

forget-me-not? pfft...

2012-01-02T19:24:00.000+04:00

has no feelings for me anymore huh, that was ... sad.

2012-01-02T11:38:00.001+04:00

lol, over affectionated... please dont just ignore me

2012-01-01T15:00:00.001+04:00

dont waste time meng.

2012-01-01T11:57:00.002+04:00

dude, i have no idea what you're doing. you're just talking crap

2012-01-01T09:24:00.002+04:00

amazing how much affect it has. pathetic as it seem, i dont resent my emotions. after all its what makes me human. unfortunately that would most likely change over time, i would get insensitive, indifferent and possibly cold.

2012-01-01T09:17:00.001+04:00

never mourn.

Day 11

2012-01-01T07:29:00.001+04:00

Wishing she would see that i only wanted to make her and us happy, wishing she would understand, wishing all my loved ones a bright future in 2012.

2011-12-31T16:32:00.001+04:00

if only

2011-12-31T08:44:00.001+04:00

it will be a new year soon. a new page in life and i welcome it. may i become the man i want and my loved one find happiness, with or without me in their lives.

Day 10

2011-12-31T06:42:00.000+04:00

did i do the right thing?

2011-12-30T21:33:00.002+04:00

we were born alone, we live alone and we die alone.

only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion that we are not.

2011-12-30T17:45:00.001+04:00

to be sure that you know what im saying, i'll translate as i go along.

2011-12-30T15:15:00.001+04:00

blah blah blah...

2011-12-30T13:55:00.000+04:00

its rather cold.

Day 9

2011-12-30T06:54:00.002+04:00

i wonder if she understands why i did the things i did.

even the occupation i took thinking she would be with me.

i never wanted to travel the world alone.

i believed we would be together supporting each other and in a few years, start a family.

lives and dreams sure are fickle.

i wonder if she has changed so much, or just forgotten what she really wanted. or perhaps i never knew what that was in the first place.

2011-12-29T20:55:00.001+04:00

no matter how much money you got, no matter how many friends you got.

2011-12-29T20:21:00.000+04:00

gave everything.i just want...

2011-12-29T17:32:00.001+04:00

meditate

2011-12-29T15:25:00.001+04:00

how very pathetic.

2011-12-29T14:49:00.001+04:00

why why why why why why why

2011-12-29T10:37:00.001+04:00

just a lost little boy crying because he dropped his icecream. forever.

2011-12-29T09:24:00.001+04:00

sing a happy song, sing a sad song. seal a part of my soul in a box and put it away. i made mistakes and i made the effort, i fought for naught if it ain't meant to be.

Day 7

2011-12-29T07:09:00.003+04:00

words fail me. the pain the sorrow the disappointment. shattered dreams and forgotten promises. i wonder why i miss it so, i wonder why it means so much to me. as its obvious it didnt matter to her.

live and learn, growing up is rather painful.

2011-12-28T21:19:00.000+04:00

/slap self

2011-12-28T20:22:00.001+04:00

stop moping you coward

2011-12-28T18:41:00.001+04:00

it drives me crazy.

2011-12-28T12:32:00.000+04:00

blah blah blah more moaning and crying and sob stories... meng stfu.

2011-12-28T11:05:00.002+04:00

she says she's thought about it. but i dont know why she would give up on all we had, all we will have. we've been on this road for a long time, it just needed a little more.

Day 6

2011-12-28T08:11:00.001+04:00

its not painful. just a slow emptiness that is devouring me inside. i cant think, cant eat, cant sleep. if only there was a switch i could use to turn off my emotions.

2011-12-27T20:57:00.001+04:00

tick tock tick tock

2011-12-27T20:20:00.001+04:00

its unbearable sometimes.

2011-12-27T19:52:00.002+04:00

all the things we said, all the things we promised... running through my head, bringing tears to my face.

2011-12-27T17:31:00.000+04:00

riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip.

drip drip.

drip.

thud.

2011-12-27T16:07:00.001+04:00

please dont be bipolar...these mood swings cant be healthy!

2011-12-27T14:58:00.001+04:00

whatever will be, will be. the future is not ours to see.

2011-12-27T13:01:00.000+04:00

goooo awaaaay abandonment issues... i dont need you right now, or ever.

Day 5

2011-12-27T07:03:00.003+04:00

I could hear it breaking.

The sound of sky cracking the earth splitting.

The sound of cloth tearing.

The sound of a bridge under stress finally giving in, crying as it sinks into the river below until all that are left are littered bodies.

It's the sound of gushing blood as your body fall to the ground with a thud, you feel death's embrace and welcome it.

The sound of crying your heart out but no more tears will come.

2011-12-26T22:36:00.001+04:00

all by myself

2011-12-26T15:49:00.000+04:00

Require a pill of selective forgetness

2011-12-26T09:38:00.000+04:00

2011-12-26T09:36:00.000+04:00

Anger hatred depression sadness ... self pity? Go to hell

2011-12-26T09:29:00.000+04:00

If i had words to make a day for you, i'd sing you a morning golden and new. i would make this day last for all times, give you a night deep in moon shine.

Searching for the missing piece.

2011-12-26T07:12:00.001+04:00

Disbelief

day 4

2011-12-26T01:21:00.000+04:00

Pieces

2011-12-25T20:11:00.000+04:00

Cant cry very well, must be out of practice.

feeling slightly better, guess i'll check out what life has to offer tonight

2011-12-25T19:17:00.001+04:00

One of the most agonizing xmas nights i've had. i had fun in the day, out with friends and enjoying life. but now it's night, and i am alone. the pain and emptiness haunts me. while i refuse to cry i dont know how long i can hold on.
i lay here in darkness with a void in my chest, waiting impatiently for morning to come. please dont take too long

2011-12-25T18:48:00.001+04:00

Dubai is really something... built in the middle of a desert and simply beautiful.

day 3

2011-12-25T09:22:00.000+04:00

do i miss my loved ones or the ones that loved me? i wonder. merry xmas to all, one day i will forget

Day 2

2011-12-24T15:02:00.000+04:00

Every man has a place, in his heart there’s a space

All your dreams will come true, right away

And we will live together, until the twelfth of never

Day 1

2011-12-23T13:28:00.000+04:00

One step at a time, let your sorrows go.

"I saw death in the mirror. He smiled and said there's no hurry, he told me to take my time." Quote from somewhere that I don't remember anymore.

2011-12-04T02:48:00.000+04:00

when the night has come
and the land is dark
and the moon, is the only light we'll see

no i wont, be afraid
oh i wont, be afraid
just as long, as you stand
stand by me

so darling darling stand, by me
oh stand, by me
oh stand, stand by me, stand by me

if the sky that we look upon
should tumble and fall
or the mountain, should crumble to the sea

i wont cry, i wont cry
no i wont shed a tear
just as long, as you stand
stand by me

but you wont.

(great song tho)

2011-12-03T14:46:00.001+04:00

< X 3

2011-03-30T04:38:00.001+04:00

to live is to suffer.

to suffer is to struggle.

to struggle is living.

Mmmm...

2011-03-17T02:14:00.001+04:00

Woke up, feeling depressed.

There was a dream but I can't quite remember. There was the ones I love and the ones I don't, somehow I was so far away from them all.

Haven't felt this lonely in years, it's like the one that broke your heart for the first time.... you dread the reunion, yet it feels oh so familiar.

I tried, I worked for it and I made sacrifices. But the void in my chest seems to be still there.

I thought I could mend it with love and passion, it did but it did not die. Now it reaches from its grave and cuts into my mind once again.

I thought I could ease it with fun and games, it did but it would not leave. And now the time for fun and games are over, it's here again.

I believed that I found the one thing to cure it but the harder I grasp it, the more insignificant I became. Worthless, incompetent and failure are not words I would describe my proud self, but they shadow me from not too far a distance and sneer, bidding their time. They won't get their chance, I would sooner set my world on fire.

Everything has their reason and what needs to be done is clear, I just wish I could fill this... emptiness. Perhaps my emotions are overreacting, they seem to be very good at that. I hope so.

It's like I'm the six year old boy again, understanding concepts that are too grand for his tiny world. He doesn't cry and doesn't want to be weak, but he bleeds a little inside.

Maybe the blood will eventually clog up the void.

Cough cough...

2010-08-13T06:19:00.000+04:00

i ish sick...

theres this horrible virus going around the uni, if you're still un-infected wear a mask to class

(in case its the one that turns you into a zombie)

unfortunatelly it probably isnt. no zombie apocalypse for our generation most likely.

oh well, could always watch some movies.

staying warm

what is the meaning of life?

2010-05-15T17:55:00.000+04:00

    _     _
                  _
                  /_/_      .'''.
               =O(_)))) ...'     `.
                  \_\              `.    .'''B'zzzzzzzzzzz
                                     `..'
              
                           /|      __ 
                          / |   ,-~ / 
                         Y :|  //  /   
                         | jj /( .^ 
                         >-"~"-v" 
                        /       Y   
                       jo  o    | 
                      ( ~T~     j  
                       >._-' _./  
                      /   "~"  |   
                     Y     _,  |     
                    /| ;-"~ _  l   
                   / l/ ,-"~    \ 
                   \//\/      .- \ 
                    Y        /    Y* 
                    l       I     !
                    ]\      _\    /"\
                   (" ~----( ~   Y.  )  
           ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
                 ->Jackson Bunny<-

SooooooooOoooOooo....

2010-04-23T13:34:00.001+04:00

stuff... insert stuff here... < >

this space needs to be filled

2009-08-19T14:53:00.001+04:00

Pudding

2009-05-20T23:20:00.000+04:00

wow, so this is somewhat like how it feels to be tortured. cant believe people can put up with this. times ten.

2009-05-10T05:39:00.000+04:00

sooooo... im on the road again...

would be nice if i could stop moving around so much some time, you know, settle down in a spot for a while and enjoy the time there.

yawn, so very tired. traveling is exhaustive business.

hope you guys are having a better time ;]

2009-04-03T21:39:00.001+04:00

what to do.

what to do.

what to do.

what to do.

what to do.

what to do.

what to do.

what to do.

what to do.

what to do.

what to do.

2009-02-28T06:25:00.000+04:00

staggering on my feet, i wipe my face with blood stained hands.

struggling to survive, i witness my comrades fall. taking gut wounds, writhing on the ground for hours screaming in agony before ceasing their breath.

forgive me friends, i must go on. to my purpose, destination, my master, my dreams and ambition.

i cry out when the thorns pierce into my arms, shed my tears in pain. battered, bruised and wounded, i keep crawling

it challenges me, it threatens. dangerous and dark, it is all but beckoning.

yet my stupidity and ego drives me on.

i fight my losing battles, for I shall not be victorious.

Deja... vu

2009-02-16T01:41:00.000+04:00

so it hits me, while im staring out of the window, watching the clouds in the distance making their advance over this little town.

i've been here, sitting and watching with this exact mindset, some time, somewhere before.

feels almost serene.

or maybe thats what frou frou does to you.

mmmm... this is familiar.

global warming.... T_T

2009-02-09T04:46:00.000+04:00

wwaaaaaahhh... its like 12 degrees C here... cant believe only a few days ago this place was all frozen over.

gone ish the snow! just like the first month of my trip. . . went o so swiftly

hail to mom and her cooking, now it seems home was sweet after all.

obama is pretty cool, nice speeches.

hmm, meng will survive... i think.

kind of like this jazz station, try it out if you have time.

http://player.play.it/player/aolPlayer.html?v=4.3.10&ur=1&us=1&id=

sigh, back to work i go.

p.s be safe!

Skittles

2009-01-12T02:38:00.000+04:00

Unfortunately to those looking for candy, this has nothing to do with skittles.

In the States, cold and alone and... sometimes hungry.

I love the snow, never been anywhere that snowed this beautifully... I stand and watch the snow fall as the minutes tick by, even when I'm trembling from the cold but still reluctant to move.

Purdue is huge... need to take a bus just to get to town. people are very nice here, just like back home.

still, can't help but feel a bit lonely - dont take me wrong, did make friends. a bit homesick i say.

mmm... heres praying for the next five months.

p.s im due a pleasant surprise in three... ;]

Insomnia my friend...

2008-08-21T23:29:00.000+04:00

I'm seeing dead pixels in the sky, hearing things I've never said yearning and for things not so far away.

All the time wondering, why am I still awake.

. . . bit hungry tho.

-

There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
-Friedrich Nietzsche

2008-08-17T03:59:00.000+04:00

Interesting times indeed.

I actually made a promise ;o

Goes something like this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-5ACpAOoPs&feature=related

/wish self luck

2008-08-01T12:35:00.000+04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtxAO3TL9Ro

that is all.

I'm awake....

2008-07-04T01:22:00.000+04:00

---

The Saddest Words ...Of all sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddest are these: "It might have been."
J. G. Whittie

---

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I can not change,
The courage to change those things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

---

Let me drink life
from the palms of your hands
Borrow me your wings
made of dreams
just for a while,
to feel alive...

Don't hold back
in front of the abyss
let's step into the emptiness
and learn how to fall.

I want that the space between us
be colored as the butterfly's wings
and to drown in those colors
every time I get closer.

Just let me slide
on the rainbows in your eyes,
hold the torch high
on the hollow boulevards of my nightmares,
be my ally in this iced world.

Don't hold back
in front of the abyss
let's step into the emptiness
and learn how to fly.

Nyell Moonlight

---

If red means 'i love you',
and pink means 'i like you',
then what's the color for 'get your butt over here and tell me how you feel?'

skittles

---

I wrote your name on the bullet so
everyone would know you were the
last thing that went through my head.

Only you.

---

A person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused.

- Shirley Maclaine

---

Honesty, confidence and kindness.

Life is slightly too short for ifs and maybes.

Right?

sing, to your heart's content

2008-06-15T17:25:00.000+04:00

~

the palace is complete

i stay inside alone

the gate closes behind me

wind is knocking on the windows

let me cry again

the thunder last night and the morning mist

freezing the sunlight

agonizing scenes in the past return to me

please let this end

`

such is fate

for im helpless

unable to make any requests

all i know is that after i'm gone

the wind will continue to weep

- Vitas Opera # 2

-

There is love of course. And then there's life, its enemy.
Jean Anouilh

can, would, will.

2008-06-12T11:38:00.001+04:00

~

"i do what i do, when i choose, why i wish. i answer to no one."
- Richard

-

Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve.
- Dr. Napoleon Hill

The Return of the Carry

2008-05-25T13:50:00.000+04:00

Hey guys,

everyones fav. rice farmer is here. In 2nd yr Commerce at University of Melb. exam peroid now so not such a big post.

Some words of wisdom, if ur having trouble farming on lane, get a midas and farm the woods the whole game then go carry.

And finally heres a rap about me i made ages ago:

They see me farmin, they hatin. Tryin to catch me neutral creepin. My radiance so fast. im carryin, they hopin they can kill me 5 man gankin.

ANd just for meng, i decided to add some additional info:

Yesterday was my bday and I had a blast but in the morning i was playing dota and getting completely pissed of by these 2 retards in my game one was a viper who got corrosive skin stats (no ulti no slow) and another was even more classic, a Skeleton King who said " who needs bolt its no damamge il just get stat and vamipiric aura and ill leech all life back". THey were 1-18 and 3-15 respectively, kudos to them really czo they managed to stil get a kill despite their GOD AWFUL skill builds. Anyway somehow we managed to win coz i got dagon 5 on lich and i was like 27-1. Frank was 10-0 with panda and a shitload of items. lesson to be learned IN PUB make sure you or one of your friends plays carry.